Submitted by: Q | March 2005



     A lot of people don’t take into consideration the amount of information that can be gathered about a person by the look of their room. In theory, why should you? I mean, after all, it’s YOUR room, why should you care what other people think about it? Well, while it may be unintentional, your room can tell people a number of things about yourself. People assume things by nature. If you invite someone over and your clothes are covering every seating option in your room besides the spot that you’re sitting in, then more than likely they’re going to assume that you could careless whether they’re comfortable or not. Now, this isn’t the kind of signal that you want to send out, right? (If so, close this window, turn off your computer, and go watch some grass grow)

     Well, there isn’t really a right answer to that question considering all girls are different. That doesn’t mean there’s no hope for you though. I took some time to ask a few female friends of mine what they first notice when they enter a room. The first response usually was something along the lines of how clean or messy the room was. Now, I know you’re probably thinking “No shit, but I need more than that! It’s getting lonely over here in [insert name of dorm].” Yeah, I feel your pain. I asked my friend Jordan the same question, and her answer was a bit more helpful. She mentioned the light level in the room. “Dark rooms aren’t as inviting to me as bright rooms.” She also said that she looks at the layout of the room, and if it has a unique arrangement. I also got a number of responses about decorations, and furniture. More than likely, when you moved into your dorm room it was already furnished, if not, that sucks. As far as decorations go though, a poster or 2 always helps.

     Sure, but first off, I’ve got a few words. When you’re picking out posters for your room, whether you want to impress someone or not, don’t forget that it’s YOUR room. Don’t run out and buy 24x30” Sex and the City posters, or half-naked posters of Johnny Depp. Your first objective should be to get something that you like because your room is a reflection of yourself. If you like Iron Maiden and you want to go buy a huge ass Iron Maiden poster with a skeleton driving an SUV through the front of a middle school, then do it. If that’s what you like, and that’s who you are, there’s no reason not to. There’s 3 different outcomes to this. 1) She has a similar taste in music, which would earn you a few brownie points, 2) She doesn’t pay much attention to it and shrugs it off, and 3) She gets offended by it and things go downhill from there. The 3rd outcome may sound pretty harsh, but if it happens, don’t cry about it. Just think, you saved yourself a lot of time. Why would you want to bust your ass trying to impress a girl that doesn’t care for something that means a lot to you? You can’t please everybody.


     Be a good host. If you’re going to have a girl over, you want her to be comfortable in your room. People generally tend to place themselves in situations where they feel comfortable. If she feels comfortable when she’s in your room, well then, that gives her even more reason to spend time there. Just think about what makes you comfortable when you go visit a friend or something. Having a decent selection of music to play always helps. If you don’t, just use the radio, there’s usually something good on (unless they’re a music nazi who only listens to bands who have less than 25 fans). Food and drinks are always important. Not to say that you have to have champagne and T-bone steaks or anything of the sort, but at least have some soda (pop for my Midwest folks) or something for when they get thirsty. Most people aren’t too picky about what kind of soda they drink, and if they are, shit, stock your fridge full of beer. Beer is like water in college. Chips, candy, and things like that usually work too. If you all get hungry and it’s after midnight or something, you can always check campusfood.com and see if anyone is open for delivery.

     Ever seen Room Raiders on MTV? I hope so. It’s terrible to see how badly guys miss out on girls just for simple things that they forget to do. If you have a computer in your room, and you KNOW you’re having a girl over, please…move your porn off of the desktop. If she needs to check her email or something you don’t want her to have to climb over piles of porn to get to it. You also don’t want her to see those animal porn addresses in your history either, haha. CLEAN IT OUT, SON! Also, give your room a quick look over before having company over. The most harmless items can freak a girl out when they’re seen together. For instance, the other day I had my friend Darcy over. I bought a Maxim a few days ago, which was lying on the floor when she came over. Now, the magazine is harmless by itself, but on the other side of my room (near all of my shower stuff) is a large bottle of lotion, and in a drawer near my TV, a roll of toilet paper. For one, I’m black, and if I don’t put lotion on after a shower, my skin gets pretty ashey pretty fucking quick. Also, having a roll of toilet paper around for runny noses and the like isn’t bad. Having something to read sitting in the middle of your floor isn’t necessarily bad either, but when someone just happens to notice them all at once…well, you know.

     Seriously, treat her right. If a girl is alone with you in your room, and you’re acting like a sleazy bastard, unless she’s really digging you, its not going to make her too happy. If its late, and it looks like she’s going to be staying, take the floor and give her the bed. If you think she wants to cuddle or something, and she isn’t telling you, then joke around about it and see what she thinks, but don’t just outright say “Yo…I’ve only got one bed, so you know what that means.” There are certain situations where that would be appropriate, but if you’re not sure that’s the last thing you want to say. If you’re in my situation, and you have more than one place to sleep (loft + futon), its always a good idea to ask her which one she wants. After all, she’s the guest.

Random Rap Quote: “I got a double bed, one’s to sleep on / The other one’s to get my freak on” - Cassidy

     This is just common sense. If you have a girl in your room, and you’re trying to impress her, PAY ATTENTION TO HER! You aren’t going to impress her by showing her how fast you can score 21 points in Madden. If you’re going to play a game or something, at least hand her a controller and try to teach her a few things. Another alternative to this would be playing a game that she already knows how to / enjoys playing. Put on a movie that you’ll both enjoy. Comedies work well also. If a girl doesn’t like to laugh, then chances are she’s really a robot and you probably aren’t going to get too far with her anyway. They don’t usually date outside of their species.

     There are a million things that I could talk about on this subject. There are also a million things I could be doing instead of typing up this article, right now, so I think I’ll be ending it here. Everything I’ve said has been based on my personal experiences or things that I’ve witnessed. None of these things are set in stone, but they are definitely worth knowing if you’re worried about making a good impression on someone the next time you invite them over.